Monday, October 19, 2009


I spanked my son yesterday. I don't like spanking, but I don't opt out using it when I feel that's necessary. Looking back, my parents spanked me 'good'. I've explained my spanking rules to my wife and she kinda understands it. How much she endorses it will depend on situation by situation. My rules are simple:

1. Only hit limbs and butt.
2. Not hitting excessive that leave scar, cause bleeding, or marks that last overnight. Thus, try not to use any spanking tools.
3. Must give warning and offer chance for compliance before spanking takes place.
4. Always give reasons before and/or after spanking.
5. Use it only if necessary, always other forms of punishment.

Kids these days are smart, I think my son is way smarter than we are when we were his age. However, intelligence is one thing, temper/attitude is another thing. I don't need my kid to be 100% obedient to me. It is neither practical nor reasonable. However, for things that matter. I must make my point heard and accepted. I just think spanking should be like a cop's pistol. You don't need to use it every time crime occurs. You may flesh it just for warning for compliance. But you shouldn't rule out of using it or simply not carrying it with you just because you are a good man and believe in peace and justice. Certainly, in some cases, a pistol should only be used when the cop's or others' safety is in danger, that doesn't apply to spanking. However, for other aspects of spanking, I think this analogy can be used to get points across.


Joyce Lau said...

How old is your son?

Joel said...

2 years old

Joyce Lau said...

I don't have children myself (yet), so it's hard for me to say. But some people say that, with very young children (2), a spank is better understood than a long wordy explanation.
For example, your child insists on walking into traffic. You can sit down with a long talk about the speed of cars, physical injury and death, but a 2-year-old can't understand that. He understands a spank on his behind.
My brother and I were relatively spared, considering we have Chinese parents. We we sometimes slapped on the arm, hand or butt -- but just to make us feel ashamed, not as serious physical punishment.
The only time I really remember being hit was when I was about 8 years old. My mother told me not to use the neighbor's bike. It did not belong to me, and it was too big.
I didn't listen to her and took the neighbor's bike. It WAS too big for me, so I fell off and broke my tooth.
I hid in the bathroom so my mother could not see.
Then she hit me: I disobeyed her, I took something belonging to someone else, and then I lied about it.
Even I believed I deserved to be punished.

Joyce Lau said...

You might find this article interesting.