Monday, December 31, 2007

Special Day of the Year

As part of my split of personality, on the one hand, I think that I’m no different than many folks in the society, cos I may have my own background, thinking or hobbies, I’m just a regular folk that easily ease in this complex society. On the other hand, I think that I’m very different from most folks, I’m not like most of them, I’m unique and don’t hesitate to go against what many others believe. One of the example is that, I don’t particularly fond of the idea of doing certain things on certain days of the year just because many others are doing it. However, those things are not something I’ve never done before. Maybe, cos I’m getting old, for many of those things, I’ve feeling of ‘been there, done that’. So, those things are just not appeal to me.

That’s why I won’t be keen on going out tonight to see the night scene across the Victoria Harbor, or going to Time Square in Causeway Bay to do so-called ‘Countdown’. Come on, I’d been the real Time Square in NYC on News Year Eve in 1999, how cool was that? So, I won’t even bother to the ‘rip-off/copycat’ even at the Time Square here locally.

To be sarcastic or else, I just don’t see what is the difference before and after midnight tonight?...Nothing! Why people need year end resolution? What they need to recollect what did they do wrong in past year and try to make changes starting January 1? For me, I can and SHOULD do that everyday. For me, all these are just simply excuses, try to make something out of nothing. I may be considered by others as ‘bored’ or ‘anti-social’ because of these. Nonetheless, if things are being looked at in an objective and logical way, I don’t think there is anything wrong with my opinion.

The most ridiculous thing that some local folks ‘created’ is the 'countdown' on Christmas Eve few days ago. Come on, I think it only happens here, cos it makes no sense at all. Christmas is ‘supposed’ to be the birthday of Jesus Christ. Whether he really borne on December 25 2007 years ago is debatable, but why should there be a countdown for that? Birth of Jesus is not like a rocket ready to take off! When some folks that I met on that day mentioned that I simply ridiculed that idea of joining any stupid countdown.

I think that what I said is kinda ‘anti-festival’ in some senses, but that’s not totally true. I respect certain traditions of festival. Just don’t create something out of nothing.

Friday, December 21, 2007


Everybody has his/her opinion about dreams. Certainly, I’m not talking about day-dreaming or those so call dreams which are hopes indeed. I’m talking about those subconscious vivid experience while we are in deep sleeping mode.

I love dreams and I dream often in sleep, though I can’t recall 99% of them. But I do know that I’ve dreamed when I wake up in the morning, just base on those 1% residue of dreams. If I didn’t dream the night before, I’ll have a feeling that time passed very fast all through the night, and I will feel the lack of sleep. The feeling is like you flip through a blank book from cover to bottom in a flesh. There is nothing to hold your attention throughout the whole process.

When I was very young, I had a thought: it will be great if I can control my dream. Cos, people say that we sleep one third of our life. When we sleep, we dream. So, logically, if we can totally control our dream, it means we can totally control one third of our life. We can control what we do, what are the consequences and how we feel. How cool is that? We would be so free in our dream, cos dream world is our world. We can do whatever we want and we won’t suffer any bad consequence of it. Cos, logic or karma just don’t apply in dreams. If we can really do that, I don’t think anyone will want to wake up! Come to think of it, it is a pretty funny idea!

I’ve many memorable dreams, though most of them I’m not gonna to share with the world. Many people including I believe that dreams mean something. So, there are folks called ‘dream interpreter’ who can tell you what they means. Like it is good to have nightmare….got kill in dream means something good will happen in real life…..etc. I don’t care too much about that, cos to me, they are largely bullshit. But, there are 3 particular aspects about my dreaming experience are quite interesting:

1. How new folks show up in my dream – this is not new to me, but I experience that again recently. As I just changed job, I start meeting new coworkers, after about 3 weeks into my new job, I start to see my new co-workers in my dream. That happened to me before when I began a new phase of my livelihood, like going to college, and changing job.

2. Location of my dream changes – I remember when I was in the States, I start to have dream with backdrop there. The funny thing was that I started to dream in English. As least that was the language that I spoke to my then new friends in my dreams.

3. Illogical combination of people in my dreams – Certainly, things that happened in my dreams are already illogical, even though some of them deem to be some sort ‘realistic’. However, I just have folks showed up in my dreams that are no way logical to have interaction with each other in real life. Like have friends in Hong Kong mixed with friends in the U.S., folks that I know in the past meet with historical figures and folks in showbiz. That’s just not logical. Also, the ‘me’ in my dreams sometimes swap between being first person and third person, somewhat like switching from watching a movie to being in a video game. That’s also quite weird!

I wonder if other people have same experience as mine.

Expectation and Emotion

Recently, this thought came to my mind, when I was taking a shower….there are 2 sources of emotion drivers throughout our life.

The first one is from inside. It is largely biological. Like you feel pain, tired, sleepy, etc. Those things make you crampy or upset. Or simply emotional due to fluctuation in hormone level as a result of some physical activities.

The second one is from outside. Namely, what happen outside that affect how we feel. That is usually because we have already established certain expectation as a result of years of experience of either observing others or in person of what leads to what among things.

For example, when we won a prize in lottery, we felt like we get something out of nothing. Virtually, no effort had been made other than just showing up in the right place or bought a cheap ticket. However, what we won had value. We could use it ourselves, or gave it to others which could generate some returns of favor. Therefore, having gain something ended up making us feel good, as it can generate great consequence that we will benefit one way or the other. Therefore, next time when we won a prize, we will feel good immediately, even though the consequence of using the prize has not yet begun.

As experiences are being accumulated everyday, unless we suffer from memory loss. It is very hard to change a person’s expectation in perceptions. The older we are, the harder to change. Somehow, this becomes a building block of our characters.

However, there are so few people will get a grip of the fact that just because XXX happens externally doesn’t mean that we must feel YYY. The relationship between XXX and YYY can be de-linked, especially, when YYY is something negative. Unlike mathematics, double negativity doesn’t generate positivity in human emotion. That’s why when I read that ‘We may not be able to change what happens around us, but we can choose to react”, I felt like a light bulb is flashing inside my head. It sounds so simply and logical, how come I’ve never thought of that?!....I’m sure it is not something new, it must be first cited thousand years ago by some wise philosophers. However, so few people that I know have ever mentioned that it is something we can do to make us feel better, which can lead to positive actions and consequence for us as well as others around us.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

New job

I've started working for a new employer last monday. Time just flies in this place. 12+hr-day is a norm. Well, getting to know who is who and what they do, etc is something that I need to learn quick. Before I join this company, people were asking me where I was going, I was saying "I'm hopping from an oven to a fireplace". I was semi-joking about that. In fact, what I said is really.... true!
I can describe that I'm working as a fireman now. I'm leading a small team to fight fire everyday, hour by hour, there are fire building everywhere. However, one of my job that my boss really want me to do is to install 'extinguishers' and teach people the 'safety rules'. It's hard to do that when I'm firefighter by the hours. Well, I've not giving up hope yet, cos, I've yet to really begin what I suppose to do. It is still mission possible to me. However, I can say that this place is burning chaotically!
Anyway, after long hours of firefighting everyday, bring home with fatigue is really challenging. So far, on the homefront, things are still being taken care of largely. Thank God for that!