Busy daytime + Dream

Tasks at work are so stressful that I've been exhausted mentally in last 2 weeks. With conference calls at night and other stuff. I just wanna see the end of it asap.

Home life is ok, my son continues to give me a bundle of joy. I hope he can eat more as he is a bit underweight. However, as long as he is healthy. That's all that matter.

I didn't sleep very well lately, it has more to do with quantity than quality. I still dream. Last night's dream was interesting, I saw the following things in my dream (not in particular order): In first set of my dream, I saw a polish coworker of mine, Morgan Stanley's office, a bunch of bloggers that I don't know who are working in Morgan Stanley, a French guy who like hiking, a gathering of some sort, CCTV; second set in my dream I saw Rambo, machine gun shooting popup hyperlinks on a website, Uma Thurman, an Afghan boy, twinkees, a black backpack, a mansion; the last part of my dream I saw an apartment with bunkbed, stereos and 2 guys. One of the guy sell action figures. He tried to sell a batman action figure plus another a woman figure to me for $60.....strange dream as usual!

Being Tough vs being nice

Can a person do both at the same time?

Busy

It has been very busy in the office since end of last week. It got peak yesterday, and problems stay on. I'm working hard to get them resolved. Somewhat like a fireman that are fighting multiple fire. No time to think about or work on fire safety for the moment.

On the home front, thank God, things are stable for now. Otherwise, I won't be able to have a santuary to relax and chill, to recharge and get back on the battleground everyday.

Not much else to say for now....

Latest Personal Happenings - Mar 09

1. Working out - I went to gym with my wife two nights in a row. It's nice to feel sore here and there with such long break from working out. Though the sessions last about an hour, I felt good afterwards, very rejuvenating! Hope to keep up with such habit whenever we are free in the evening.

2. My son - My son learns talking very well. He can recognize pretty much 1-10, A-Z, and pronounce 85-90% of them. I've a lot of fun playing with him. Just that, he started to have bad temper. Also, he doesn't eat well, very picky without any reason or consistency. Also, he started to dance while listening to kiddy songs. His aunt bought him a toy that play many of those kiddy songs like London Bridge is falling down, MacDonald's Farm, Itsy Bitsy Spider, etc. He would pick songs by skipping them and start dancing, turning his body, and prancing his butt...very cute!

3. Gadget - Still paying lots of attention on news about upcoming release iphone. So far, I'm sure I will buy it as soon as it is out. I think I will like it very much, beside the entertainment which actually is being fulfilling nicely by my ipod classic 5.0, I think the iphone can really help me on managing my other misc stuff in personal life much better, like making appointments, recordkeeping, planning, etc. Just can't wait to get it.

4. Reading - I start to pick up books again in spite of my tight daily routine schedule on things. I usually do my reading on subway on the way home while listening to my ipod. Cos, usually, I read free newspaper during the morning trip. I'm still reading the 'Freakanomics' by Steven D Levitt and Stephen J Dubner. I love it. I bought 2 more books lately - 'The Undercover Economist' by Tim Harford, and "The Economic Naturalist - Why Economics Explains Almost Everything" by Robert H Frank. I'm gonna take my time enjoying these books, though I can only read few pages each day.

Book Shopping Mentality

In my previous blog, I was talking about my reading hobby. Besides, reading things on internet and borrowing from library, the natural way to get books is going to buy them. For here, I won’t go too to much about shopping the books in bookstore or in Amazon. I’m talking about is what book would I wanna buy these days and why?

I don’t have unlimited amount of money and space at home. Therefore, these are legit concerns for me in shopping for books. Also, as I grow older, I learn from past experience. For example, I won't go to bookfairs no more. Especially, when I found out that those books that I bought in last bookfair have not been read yet. What is the point? For me, I love books in spite of the convenience and my acceptance of ebook. Put the ‘green’ stuff aside that it kills trees to print books and all that for a moment, it is nice to own books. That's why there are even 'fake' books that can be found for decoration purpose. I mean those looked as real with nice hardcover, but actually are blank. However, my experience is that books are one of the bulky and heaviest items in home-moving. The packaging part is easy, but it did take up a lot of space. Therefore, I do have to really think before I buy any books these days.

There are certain categories of books that I won’t buy anymore and I will tell you why. The following is my ‘no-no’ list:
Fictions – I don’t care how big a seller it is, DaVicci Code? Harry Potter? I’m sorry. Don’t get me wrong that I don’t like story books. For example, I did enjoy reading those books from late Michael Crichton back in my college days. Nowadays, other than I won’t have time to read them, even if I do, will I go back to reread them again and again? I really doubt that. So, read them once and they will be useless to me. Thus, it is not economical to buy these books.
Coffee table books – Well, I don’t have a coffee table at home, even if I do, I would put my feet on it rather than stocking these oversize, overprice, heavy hardcopy books. Regardless how nice those pics are, I just think that I can get those pics online. What they can include in one book would never been enough in terms of numbers.
Books with lots of data – Many of these books have data or statistics, they may have charts, graphic, etc. Well, I can get more up-to-date data online and maybe in data format as well, it would be more usual that way.
Tech manuals – Same as the above, data in these books are dated. Technology info these days should be transmitted and stored in virtual world for constant update and easy access. Who will want an user guide for Window 2000 at home this day?
Other types of DIY manual – like cooking, fishing, etc. I can find them online with videos as well. Why bother?
Short articles books – those like collection of blogs, jokes and humor articles. Stuff like that. Same, I can find them online.

That’s said. The books that I really will buy are those that are “re-readable”. Not necessary tools or manual, but more of things that are inspiring and useful. E.g. like Bible, Seven Habits, First Aids, etc, that sort of topics. Not sure if it sounds kind of vague, but still that’s what I’m going for.

Of course, I’m only talking about these are what I will buy for ‘myself’. As a parent, there are books that I just have to get for my son, that’s a different story.

Reading

I love to read. I think I picked up this habit when I was in my fourth grade. One day, I just happen to start reading articles in newspaper. Since then, it became a habit to read regularly for leisure. I’d clearly distinguished the difference between reading for leisure and reading for school. Cos, the materials were different and so did my mentality.

As a kid, I was very curious of the world, certainly it was from a very kiddy point of view. Anything that I found interesting, I would read. I think I began to read for information and knowing things, more than learning or for entertaining. For example, I was interested in paranormal or mystery stuff back then. I would read articles or books about UFO, Loch Ness monsters, and ghosts. Cos, those books would tell me something that I don’t know. Certainly, I did read comic books, but I was not into novels until I began junior high, when I start to read sci-fi novels. Also, I would read maps, books about civilizations, dinosaurs, weapons, etc, typical boy stuff.

Source of my books were mostly from library, I did buy some books, but shopping for books would be a totally separate topic that I will blog next time. When I first went to my school’s library, I was so excited! I simply would walk from aisle to aisle, shelf by shelf to check out what were there. Then, I began to learn some categories of knowledge that I’d no idea for. When I was a kid, I needed to take a general science course. I didn’t know science could be broken down into biology, chemistry, physics, etc. When I went to bookstore that was even shocking to me. The books were newer and cleaner. There were even more categories available. That was incredible to me!

As I grow older, I’ve been reading continuously for leisure. I would simply pick up almost anything of books, just to see what they were all about. Certainly, that didn’t make me into expert of any kind. However, I think I did read hundreds of books when I was younger. Novels of different kinds, mostly sci-fi, but I also would read Wu-Xai, crime, legal and few love stories. However, my favor books were informative non-fiction books.

Reading takes time, I read less and less as my life moved on to different stages. From being a full-time student who had ample of time to having a full-time job, from being single to having a life partner, from marriage without children to being a dad, spending time to read a book became a luxury that is so hard to afford. I think I had only read 2 books last year.

However, thank God for internet! It helps me tremendously in terms of reading. Cos, besides books, I love to read magazines or short articles. So, with internet, I can stay inform conveniently and be able to stay in touch with not just news, but news analysis of all sorts. Now, with blogs, that’s even better. Considering my tight daily schedule, I just don’t have much time to ‘feel’ the social pulse on what the world’s view of topics. Yes, I spend half hour of so to watch late night news, but what are people think about that news? I would not know, as I don’t listen to radios anymore. Reading blog is such a good way to know what others’ opinion of the world. I love that.

Looking forward to my future, I think about a ‘cycle’. I will have to go back to read basic school books again! When my son grows older, I think I would need to refresh my knowledge while helping him on school works. Surely, the mentality is different than when I was in his place. Nonetheless, building up a habit of reading will definitely be my hope for my son. Cos, nothing is better than sharing thoughts after reading something in common and discuss. I wouldn’t know what he will love to read for now, but we will see….

The Pope and condom

Pope Benedict XVI is visiting Africa. The most prominent news from his current visit is about his objection of using condom in AIDS prevention. As we all know AIDS is one of the top causes of death on that continent. Certainly, as the figure head of the Catholic Church, he has to defend the standpoint of the institution on the topic of sex. To my limited knowledge, from the Church’s point of view, sex between opposite sexes should only occur after marriage and for the purpose of breeding. That’s it. Anything that doesn’t fit that narrow purpose is forbidden, though as we all know human beings have sex for many reasons besides that. So, even the existence of condom, as a contraceptive instrument, is principally against the Catholic’s belief.

I think principle is one thing, but reality is usually the other. That’s one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of religious institution. People are dying, yes, you can teach them your belief which can prevent AIDS or other sexual diseases. However, meanwhile, is it too much to ask to adopt a ‘preventive and life-saving’ tool that can save innocent people before they ‘learn’ to behave? I don’t see the Church against the procession of guns or firearms which are also lethal. That’s just ridiculous and hypocrite from my point of view.

I just think that the reason why certain religions can exist and prosperous over time is because their principles are universal and can stand the test of time. One way for that is to be a bit ambiguous that provide room for interpretation in the change of time and places. Also, as a religion, for God sake, they should promote the high moral standards on the one hand, and try to protect lives on the other hands. Unless, they think that certain people deserve death, but who gives the institute the right to judge?

Therefore, I think people should look after themselves. If they believe in God, that’s fine, they pray, learn the beliefs from Holy texts and think. Then, do what you think is right for you and others. Don’t just follow to what the big guy has said, particularly not word for word. Cos, ultimately, it is all about your relationship with God, your love ones, not the institution.

Sadness

I've been feeling down in recent days. As usual, it is triggered by a 'combo' of factors: family, job, finance, health, etc. None of them are at critical situation that dominant the others. However, when all of them have got me concerns one way or the other, the overall feeling is just not good. I'm experienced in dealing with my emotion, clearing my thoughts and motivating myself. So, I"m not too worry about that. Just as of this moment, I've not been self-motivated to that point to restart my 'engine'. So, my mind is 'grinding', and not feeling well. Hopefully, I won't make large avoidable mistakes before I get better.....

與但丁討論神曲

How many famous people can you recognize?

Don't dig your own grave

As a parent, I can't help but think about how to bring my kid up, what to teach him and how to teach him. Hard skills and knowledge are not easy, but there are many proven ways to obtain that. Like if you want your kid to learn kung fu, you can take him to a local dojo or send him to Shaolin temple. If you want to learn programming, you can self-learn by picking up books, or take courses, just to practice and practice.

For soft skills, that's the hard part. Cos, many of them are easy to understand, but hard to practice consistently, and let alone master them. For example, how to get along with people around you. It is something studied since human beings exist on earth. Talk about relationship, as long as we need to live with people, we can't stay away from it. The worse case is that there are not only many 'theories' in soft skills, many of them are complicated by who the practitioners and the target people are. For example, kids are taught to be honest. But kids have their own characters, when we think about the consequence of being honest, it may not be always good to oneself, especially the punishment for being honest for bad things done whether that was intentionally or not. Also, who do we should tell the truths to? To a priest anonymously, or point your own nose tips and say 'yes! I did it!'?

I think the most difficult part about teaching a kid is about relationship with the opposite sex. Yes, many folks would say kids nowadays are so smart and rebellious that they would not need or listen to what you are going to tell them. They make do the opposite and don't even bother listening to what we said. Well, they got their points, but I doubt any parent would simply not trying to convey their own set of ideology about those of kind boy-girl relationships to their kids. To my ideal situation, I would say the best scenario is that my son is intelligent enough to pick up what's work for him from all sources. Yes, I admit that I'm not a good example or great lecturer on this topic. So, though I will still try to share what I think with my kid in a more subtle way rather than outright 'I told you so' lecture, I would prefer him to digest information from all sources to make up his mind for what should work for him.

I don't even want to think about what would be the worst case scenario for that. I opine that just based one source of information, regardless of how good it may be, it is just not enough to deal with the possible variation of relationship situations. Also, learning from his personal own mistakes will be very painful in many aspects. I would say, just "don't dig your own grave!"

When, I don't know if the following things make sense or not, just wanna think some of them may be what I'm gonna share with my kid in future:

- You can crazy in love with a girl, but don't spoil her to a point that you lose who you are.
- There must be respects 'mutually'. If she doesn't buy it, just retreat.
- Saying 'no' doesn't mean you are wrong. Don't love someone that doesn't deserve your love.
- Don't try to change someone's character. Cos, you will fail.
- Sometimes, it is better to be alone than with someone who make you unhappy.
- There are always more than one side in each story. So, be a good listener and think, don't just talk.
- Love takes time, but lust doesn't take that long. So, think about consequence before you act.
- Conflicts are unavoidable, unless she is a dummy and you want her to be one. No, she won't be one. On the other hand, don't let her to treat you like a dummy.
- Consensus is the key. If you can reach one with your life partner, and you are happy with the consensus. You are blessed!
- Try to look at good things, not just the bad ones. Don't be stupid enough to look for bad things in good things. If you can't find one, it is because there is none. Even if there is, probably those are good things in other people's eyes, not you. So, those are still not good things.
- Love is blind, so you should try to spend some minutes/hours in your day try not to love, but to think from a third person's point of view to analyze what you are doing. Be your own teacher, teach yourself lessons. It is not psycho, it is simply helpful.
- Don't take on other's trouble unless there is a solid mutual commitment.

The last for not but not least....there is always a second choice in things. You are the driver of your own car, don't let the road should you where you have to go ahead. You often can STOP, and may even U turn. So, even there looks like there is only one way ahead. No! It isn't.