Karma

Since I became a parent, I started to pay more attention to news stories that related to kids. The latest shocking tragedy is the 4 years American old girl somehow trapped in a washing machine for 2 minutes and died of crushing bones in the head of something. It was supposed to be caused by a hide-and-seek game that she played with her younger brother of 15 months. She hided in the washing machine and her brother punched the start button in his reach that caused such accident. Certainly, that get me thinking what kids can do these days and I think I've to really check out my apartment to spot any 'traps' that can cause harm to my son.

As a second thought, I'm not trying to implying anything here. As a believer of Karma, I think most people, once they have kids, they would less likely to do harmful things intentionally to others in order to avoid any kind of retribution. Cos, there is a belief that if you do something bad to other people, bad deeds will come back to haunt you or your kids. Nonetheless, even if we don't do bad things to others, bad things can still happen to our kids. Cos, for believer of karma, most of us believe in reincarnation as well. So, we may did bad things in our past life that could cause payback this life. That's something we can't avoid. Also, even if we didn't do any bad things in our past life, our kid might have done bad deeds in his/her past life that could come back to hurt him/her this life! Certainly, we wouldn't know what happened in our past lives and even if we do, we can't change that. So, the only thing that we can do is to make good deed and don't do bad things in our lifetime.

With such attitude and belief, as least that can help us to make some senses of why certain unfortunate things happen to superficially Innocent people and would help to make it relatively easy to accept their happenings. That didn't take away the pain and sorrow for tragedies. However, once the emotional part is fading away, the logical sense will kick in in higher gear. For folks like me, logic does help, though we may never know the truth.

A 'Catch 22' no-win question

During lunch discussion today with colleagues, someone mentioned a 'Catch 22' question that illustrate a situation that if such question is asked, no matter how you respond, there is something wrong with you.

The question is "Have you stopped beaten your wife?"

Certainly, you can make it into different variations, such as:

Have you stopped committing crime?
Have you quitted drugs?

Basically, the format of the question is 'Have you' + 'stop/quit/discontinue' + 'some bad things' ?

If you say 'Yes', it means that you did do such thing before, usually that's something never being disclosed to anyone. In spite of the fact that you claim that you are NOT doing that anymore.

If you say 'No', it means that you have been doing that bad things and is going to continue.

Of course, you can always say 'No comment!', 'None of your business!', 'Why you ask?', 'How about you?', and 'Back off!'

The Ugly Truth: America's Economy is Not Coming Back

Just came across an interesting article, wanna share with folks around.

Wed, 01/28/2009 - 18:31 — dlindorff
President Barack Obama and his economic team are being careful to couch all their talk about economic stimulus programs and bank bailout programs in warnings that the economic downturn is serious and that it will take considerable time to bounce back.

I’m reminded of an experience I had with Chinese medicine when I was living in Shanghai back in 1992. I had come down with a nasty case of the flu while teaching journalism at Fudan University on a Fulbright Scholar program. A Chinese colleague suggested I go to the university clinic. When I told him there wasn’t much point since doctors couldn’t do much for the flu besides recommend fluids and bed rest, he said, “That’s Western doctors. You could go to the Chinese medicine doctors at the clinic. They can help you.” I figured, what the hell, and we went. The doctor inquired into the lurid details of my illness—how my bowel movements looked, the color of the mucus in my nose, etc. He didn’t really examine me physically. Then he prescribed an incredible number of pills and teas and sent me home with a huge bag of stuff, and instructions on the regimen for taking them through the course of each day. I followed the directions dutifully, and my colleague came by each day to check on my progress. By the fifth day, when I was still running a fever and feeling terrible, I told him I didn’t think the Chinese medicine was working. He replied confidently, “Chinese medicine takes a long time to work.”

I laughed at this. “Sure,” I said. “But the flu only lasts a week or so, and now, when I get better, you’ll say it was the Chinese medicine, right?”

He smiled and agreed. “Yes. You are right.”

Obviously the Obama administration recognizes that it needs to keep the finger of blame for the current economic collapse squarely pointed at the Bush administration, which is certainly fair in large part (though the Clinton deregulation of the banking industry played a major part in the financial crisis and its enthusiastic promotion of globalization began the massive shift of jobs overseas that has left the nation’s productive capacity hollowed out). But it also seems to recognize that it cannot tell the bitter truth, which is that our national economy will never “bounce back” to where it was in 2007.

America, and individual Americans, have been living profligately for years in an unreal economy, propped up by easy credit which inflated the value of real estate to incredible levels, and which led people to spend way beyond their means. Ordinary middle-class working people have been encouraged to buy obscenely oversized homes at 5% down, or even no down payment. They have been lured into buying cars the size of trucks, one for each driving-aged member of the family (in our town, so many high school kids drive to school that the school ran out of parking spaces and the yellow school buses, largely empty on their runs, are referred to by the students as the “shame train,” an embarrassment to be seen riding). They’ve installed individual back-yard swimming pools, unwilling to share the water with their neighbors in community pools. Boring faux ethnic restaurant franchises of all kinds have befouled the landscape, filling up with families too stressed out to cook, and willing to endure over-salted, over-priced and tasteless cuisine and tacky plastic décor night after night.

Now this is all crashing down. Property values are in free-fall. Car sales have fallen off a cliff. Joblessness is soaring (At present, it’s approaching an official rate of 8%, but if the methodology used in 1980, before the Reagan administration changed it to hide the depth of that era’s deep recession, were applied, it would be 17% today, or one in six workers).

Eventually, the economic slide will hit bottom and begin its slow climb back, as all recessions do, but there will be no return to the days of $500,000 McMansion developments, three-car garages and a new car every two or three years for both parents plus a car for each highschooler. Not only will banks no longer be able to offer such credit to clients. People, having been burned, will not be willing to borrow so much. Company health care benefits, pension programs or 401(k) matching programs that were slashed during this downturn will not be restored when the economy picks up again.

Over the last 20 years, America has degenerated into a nation of consumers, with 72 percent of Gross Domestic Product (sic) now being accounted for by consumer spending—most of it going for things that are produced overseas and shipped here.

That is not an economic model that is sustainable, and it is a model that has just suffered what is certainly a mortal blow.

What we are now seeing is the beginning of an inevitable downward adjustment in American living standards to conform with our actual place in the world. As a nation of consumers, and not producers, with little to offer to the rest of the world except raw materials, food crops, military hardware and bad films (none of which industries employ many people), we are headed to a recovery that will not feel like a recovery at all. Eventually, productive capacity will be restored, as lowered US wages make it again profitable for some things to be made here at home again, but like people in the 1930s looking back at the Roaring 20s of yore, we are going to look back at the last two decades as some kind of dream.

It would be better if the new administration would be honest about this, because with honesty, we could have a recovery program that would actually address the real critical issues facing the country—the decline of our educational system, the irrationality of official promotion of home ownership that has led to the proliferation not just of suburbs but of exurbs, the over-reliance on the automobile for transportation, the unprecedented waste of resources, the pillaging of the environment, not to mention the decimation of the retirement system and the creation of a vast medical-industrial complex that is sucking the life-blood out of families and businesses alike.
With honesty, we could also confront the other big obstacle to national recovery—the nation’s obsession with militarism and foreign wars. The honest truth is that the US is technically bankrupt and in a state of chronic decline, and yet the nation persists in spending a trillion dollars a year on war and preparations for war, as though America were in mortal danger from foreign enemies.

The truth is that we are not threatened by Communism, by drug lords, or by Muslim Jihadists in any serious way. Rather, we have become our own worst enemy.

The administration could start by telling us all this straight up, but the problem is, most of us probably don’t want to hear it, which explains why we’re not hearing it. It also explains why we’re about to blow another trillion or so dollars on propping up failing banks, funding pointless highway and bridge construction, and blowing up illiterate peasants in remote places like Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Compromise

This morning, my boss asked me how's my weekend. I said 'fine! nothing special!...just spending time with my boy and family stuff.....'. 'Why people these days are so easily satisfied?...with low expectation on things?' He said. I said...'Well, I can't speak for the others, I can only say that I didn't expect much...."....

Come to think of what my bosses said. I think I've my points and so did he. People just don't have same expectation when their lives are so different. When I was single, I 'live' my life. I could wake up anytime I wanted, went to bed anytime I wanted. I just did my own things. I was only responsible to myself. Now, I'm living with my wife, my son and my housemaid. I've responsibilities. My life don't just evolve myself only anymore. I'm NOT complaining or anything. Just that everyone has his/her needs and interests, as a head of a household, in order to make things work, I just have to compromise!

There are times that my interests are not being prioritized, or simply in conflict with others. Just a simple things like getting up in the morning in the weekend. Of course, I like to sleep late, but I got things to do. Before I became parent, I still woke up earlier because I want to check news and surf the net before my wife got up. Cos, when she was up, I would be occupies with some activities that she needed me to be involved, etc. Since I had a son, I still had to get up early, cos my boy wakes up as early as I'm or even earlier, and he needs attention. Also, I need to go to market to buy groceries and food for his lunch, etc. So, that's part of compromise that I'm running into. Am I upset about that? No, but would I be happier to do other things? I would say I'm happy to take care of those extra responsibilities, but also be happy to have chance to do other things that I like to do.

I found that life is just full of compromises. At works, yes. At home, yes too. Would I trade that for being just doing things for myself? No, cos, life just has different stages, and as an adult with a family, you just have to suck it up. Do what're right, though sometimes those are not in line with my selfish guilty interests.

I think make compromise is not something that thought in school, even if it did, kids were too young to understand and to feel the importance of it. Compromise is a art as well as a skill. It can make you as well as break you. I think the most difficult part of making compromise is making it with someone who doesn't like to compromise. It is really hard, a tough pill to swallow. But, hey, that's part of life! Sometimes, I do wonder if I have to, but what is the alternative? Just think of it would make the 'pill' less bitter. The most successful way to 'master' compromise is to achieve the stage of being 'selfless'. It is quite 'Zen', but it is. Only if you can just 'forget' about yourself, then you can master the 'art' of compromise. Just like WATER! It is 'squarer' in a squarer pot, it is spherical, if it the pot is a sphere, etc. Just fit in, then you are fine....Well a theory, but it takes a lifetime to master. By the time we are able to master it...perhaps, we don't need to compromise anymore!.....

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Few nights ago, I went with my wife to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". A movie that just got 13 Oscar nominations this year. Well, I've not seen any movie for a while, and I'm the one who pick this movie, certainly I should enjoy it. Indeed, I think I've mentally prepared to see this movie as I found out something about this movie before I went, like it is over 2 1/2 hours long, it is a bit slow, and the main plot as well. So, I wasn't surprise by the story or other things. Some people might think that it would take away the fun to see a movie. Well, for this kind of 'art' movie, it is ok to do that. Otherwise, if the movie sucks, I will regret to pay the full price and wasted hours in the theatre for it.

About this movie, I wasn't disappointed at all. In fact, I enjoy it very much. The set pieces, the make up, the specific effect, and Cate Blanchett's acting are all good. Brad Pitt is....well good, but not good enough to deserve to win an Oscar. Cos, maybe due to the character, his performance is quite....subtle. No much ups and downs in terms of display of emotion. Not sure it has anything to do with the makeup, anyway, I think he is doing a fine job in terms of acting, it basically go with the tone and flow of the movie. The 2 1/2 hours went fine and as the story itself is captivating. One thing that I noticed about Brad Pitt is that, when he was playing a 50+ years old character, he really look like Robert Redford!

Anyway, I would say the movie is enjoyable if you know what you expect. My wife enjoyed that, but not as much as I, cos she got a cold that night. Anyway, I would say that I'd good time in viewing this movie.

Parenting 2

Last week, I’d caught up with a good friend of mine, Jacob. We were chatting on our family and stuff. Jacob has a son about a year older than mine. He recently had an argument with his wife, Eve, who happens to be my friend too. Normally, argument between a couple is very normal, but the topic of discussion really interested me. It is about parenting. Eve’s idea is that their son, Samuel is their only son, and she will just give him anything he wants with her best effort regardless. Jacob’s idea is that he will give Samuel what he needs and what’s good for him, rather than simply blindly doing things that simply satisfy his son’s desire.

Certainly, the two approaches have overlapping areas. However, there are gaps. Cos, kid’s desire has no limit and reason sometimes. We were all kids before and we know that sometimes what we wanted were not what we need or are best for us when we looked back. Certainly, our parents couldn’t and didn’t give us everything that we wanted, but Eve’s attitude towards such ‘blank’ check approach simply scared Jacob tremendously. Cos, though their kid is still very young, but with years to come, argument and even fights between Eve and himself seems unavoidable. Also, kid is smart, if he knows that he has an easy way with his mom, will he still listen to his dad? Then, all the discipline, hard works, lecturing, motivation to excel will be thrown out of the window if his son can simply beg his mom to give him what he wants.

I told Jacob that he can only take it easy for now and spend time to talk to his wife on occasion basis. Eve has a point, but it doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t change. Also, he shouldn’t always look at the worst cases. Since both Jacob and Eve love their son, so they can build on trust and understanding from there. We all know that bringing up a kid is hard work, it isn’t easy by any mean. Feeding, bathing are not the hard part, negative returns from parenting effort is the worst nightmare for every parent.

I hope similar things will work out in my nest as well.

Can he do it?

In an extraordinary time, we need extraordinary person to lead an extraordinary nation. Just getting where he is already extraordinary. Whether he can do it or not won't be known till few years down the road. If he can, he should be added to the President Hill, if not what he is going to do while facing such extraordinary situation, he should have probably done his best. Afterall, he is still human....

180 degree turn

Lately, I've been quite stressful on both end of my life: at work and home. On the one hand, I was quite busy at work with conference calls at night. On the other hand, my son has a fever and I'd a cold. So, I remember last night, I was checking some SWIFT messages requirements with a celebrity in my dream. As usual, my dream are very unreal, why would I talk to a celebrity? but the checking part was stressful.

Then, I was woken up by 'knocks knocks' of my bedroom door. My housemaid said that my son has a fever again. So, my wife and I got up and gave him medicine. After that, I went back to bed. I said to myself, how come my dream was so exhausting. Then, I fell in sleep again. After I woke up, I still remember bits and pieces of my second dream. I was in a party on a local island. Seeing some old friends from ex-company that bought his friends and family from Brazil. Also, I was dancing with some college friends, reading some comic books with visual special effects, and it was a really fun dream!

I wish I can command my dream at wish. Theoretically, if I can do that. It means that I can control 1/3 of my life....ha...just a fantasy!

Anyway, I really hope that the recent chaotic events will settle down soon, so my boring but stable life can resume!

An idea about TV ads in future

My thought on TV advertising in future….

Current situation – TV audiences are diminishing in number and they are getting old. Yes, they still do have money to spend, but in the long run, TV programs will be delivered via the web rather than through the traditional TV set. Yes, there is a trend that TV sets are more become a LCD monitor with some PC capabilities. That’s another sorry, it is no doubt that many young folks are watching TV programs on their PC/laptop/netbook than before, most young people just want to watch whatever they want to watch at the time that they want. So, TV Guides will become obsolete if they don’t change in future.

TV programs are popping up on the web in many ways: in the official websites of the TV broadcasting companies, in blogs, in various websites with online TV weblinks, Youtube, Joost, Hulu, etc. Based on what I see in many cases, the broadcasters are just using similar tactics are they did on traditional TV, i.e. attach TV ads to TV programs, kinda force folks to watch them before they watch the TV clips.

Thoughts for the future – As I said before, people want to watch whatever they want whenever they want. It also means that they will not tolerate the ‘enforced’ ads that they need to watch in order to watch the shows of their choice. That just not only apply to TV shows, it applies webpage as well. Cites an example of Forbes.com, how many times I will look up the ‘x’ at the top right corner to turn off the whatever ad they want to show me when I just want to read the article that I want. Those intrusive ads just annoy me, I would say, don’t show what I don’t want to see, I don’t care how good your product or services are! However, does it mean that ad has no role in future? No, they just need to do that differently. There is something call ‘product placement’ in movies or TV shows. Like you see a guy pulling a bottle of Pepsi slowly in an ‘awkward’ position just want to show you the ‘Pepsi’ logo. That was bad! But, if product placement can be done wisely, it should help a lot.

For example, when you are watching ‘Desperate Housewife’, some might want to know where do those actresses get their clothes from, or when you watch CSI, you may want to know where you can buy those cool gadgets, like torches, or the nice suits that the actors wore. If someone can develop a technology that can allow folks to ‘freeze’ the screenshot, and show ‘links’ and ‘pointers’ to describe where are those clothes or products on the screens are from, then that should fit the idea of getting whatever viewers want whenever they want it. E.g. they may put a yellow dot at the top right corner of the screen showing that product placement info is available for that screen. If there is none, then the yellow dot will disappear. I know that would be able distracting as well, but certainly, showing the dot is optional and per user request. Somewhat like to on-screen script for the visual impaired. I’m sure that if I want certain product information on that screen that I watch, when I get my butt moving to click those links to view about those product info, I more likely will go to buy that product that just viewing some blind advertising that wasting my time. Like, if I saw the actor is driving a nice car on the show, if I want to know about that car, I can click the links to view the info about that car, or click other links to view the detail spec of the car, where can I get it, and what price. You know what I mean? That is more a smart advertising approach than the current one. Cos, I think this kind of ‘Pull advertising’ is much more effective than the ‘push advertising’ that are prevalently done in today’s media.

I know there are still a wide variety of considerations involved, like what kind of products can that applied? The cost involved? The nature of products, etc. However, what I just mentioned is an idea that must be further built upon in order to be effective. Just two cents from me!

Hope to get well soon

I’ve been sicked for 2 days, my doc’s medicines don’t seem to help to much. I hate being sick, though it is just a cold (not a flu, as I took a flu shot last month), it just makes me weak and sad. I’ve to get well soon, so I can play with my son again. Kinda miss it….