Wednesday, September 23, 2009


I think I need to be motivated. Specifically, need to self-motivated to make ‘something’ happen soon. Cos, lately, I feel like I’m being trapped in a “psychological torture chamber”, or tied up by many ‘mental’ strings. I need a breakaway. I still have not figured out how to do that yet. However, I think I need to get that done soon before my mind go haywire.

I think I’m partially responsible to put myself in the current trap. Yes, there are things happening at work, at home, in my life in general. Are those things all bad? Well, objectively, there are not really bad. Many people in this society are facing much worse situation than me, but I’m not responsible to deal with their problems, but mine. Yes, I know the theory of ‘half-glass full’, that doesn’t help much well there are many half glasses of water being poured and swap amount glasses of different sizes and colors. Just got me confused somehow….

Do I have problems? Yes, I think I do. I think the answers should not be too difficult to figure out, I’m just being trapped to motivate myself to start solving them. I always proud of myself being a cool-minded, objective person, who can skip the emotional part of reacting to problems, and jump to problem-solving mode at ease. However, I guess there are exceptions every now and then, particularly to my own problems. Doctors do get sick, you know.

In some previous blogs, I did mention what are my ways to straight out my mind. Namely, take a walk in a park, look at the nature and talk to myself. I’ve not done that yet this time. Not sure if it still works. Cos, I think some of my problems are more deep rooted that I may need drastic solutions than something superficial. I think I just need to find time to relax, to think, to plan and to execute. That’s what I need to do. Just one step at a time….

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