Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My wishes for my son (Part 2)

In my last blog, I’ve expressed some wishes for my son. I think there are more that I would like share with my son about some values or views on things that he will encounter in future. I think I always have more to say. Let’s continue.

Son, I believe that certain characters are we borne with. I’m not trying to force anything upon you. Because I can’t make you into something that you aren’t. You will have your own path of life, you will meet different people, face your own problems, make your own decisions and take their consequences as a result. However, I wish you can try to understand some of my views and values as a result of my own experience, observances and encounters. They may not be all right and may not apply to your issues in future. Nevertheless, these are things that you should take them as good valuable references. Please try to digest them and file them in certain cabinet in your mind. Hopefully, they will help you someday…..

Enjoy continuous learning – Learning is important, you will learn anytime, anywhere. Cos, there are always things that you don’t know. Thus, be alert of what’s going on around you, and around the world as well. Knowledge itself is not evil; it is how you use it that matter. Regardless, learn as much as you can. When you learn a new skill, it doesn’t mean that you will need to use it or do it. Like learning how to cook doesn’t make you the defaulted chef in all occasions, learning how to clean a toilet properly doesn’t mean you have to do that everyday. Never take the attitude that if you don’t know how to do certain thing, you will be immune from doing that. Cos, knowledge or skills that acquired through learning can produce positive effect and will be beneficial to you in many unexpected occasions. The best part and most enjoyable part is that when you need to use it, you can use it. Therefore, don’t be shy in learning. Also, you should try to be and remain curious of the world, that is a driver for learning. Continuous learning will do you no harm. Sometimes, learning can be hard and unpleasant, but it is matter of how you value learning and you should try to keep a positive attitude in learning. Remember, all materials can be taken away from you, but your knowledge will stay with you and that can’t be taken away. In other words, knowledge is a non-movable treasure in your mind.

Do what’s right, not what necessary most people do – Once you have data and knowledge, you can develop your analytical skills. Then, you will know how to prioritize actions to see what has the most values and what are more important. There are a lot of things are right thing to do that not everybody will have the knowledge or gut to do. However, you know it is right and you understand the benefits/consequences of your action. Then, try to do the right thing, as long as it doesn’t hurt the poor, the weeks, and the innocent. Certainly, you personal safety is also important. Don’t put yourself in a harm way unless there is no alternative. There are many things that many people do, but that doesn’t mean that those are ‘musts’ that you have to do. Like a popular TV program, a group action for certain purpose, or else. Many people don’t have the choice or knowledge to know better things to do. They don’t know or to lazy to make wise choice. That doesn’t mean that you are one of them. You can always do better. Only follow the crowd if it is wise to do so. Otherwise, stick to your own gun and make you point. Do what is right.

Love your family – You need friends and you will meet people then make friends with them. Some of them would be your buddies and someone you can share things that you would not share with your family. I’ve been in your place before. I was young before. I understand the value and importance of friendship in a person’s life. However, as you grow older, after you face ups and downs. You will know and you should know that, you family always love you unconditionally. There is no bottomline or special considerations. You will always have a safety zone at home that your family will give you appropriate support wholeheartedly.

Be polite and humble – Being self-confident is important, but don’t get yourself being viewed as arrogant or cocky. Being polite to others, and stay humble for your ability is a virtue that would give a positive impression of yourself which will help you deeply in many cases. Cos, there is only so much a personal can do. You would need others to help you willingly. A positive view of person would take a lot of effort and time to build up and maintain, but it doesn’t take much to destroy it. Be humble and polite are always good to build up a person’s image. I’m not saying I would like you to fake it by being polite and humble in front of others. I would like you to do that naturally as they become part of your value and behavior.

Respect others and give a helping hand – You need to learn how to get along with other people. Your family will forgive your reckless and bad temper. However, others wouldn’t. Therefore, you need to understand that everybody is different to certain extents in various areas. They have borned with certain conditions, make available selections, and grow up with their own backgrounds and experience. In order to get along with others, you should respect them just as you want to be respected for who you are. Mutual respect is a very basic value for groups to get along peacefully. Too many conflicts are avoidable if people respect each other’s right and conditions. In order to better getting along with others, try to give a hand to help them if it is possible. I’m not saying that you need to sacrifice yourselves or your welfare for others. However, do some goodwills, make some nice gestures, sometimes helping someone doesn’t cost a lot or any money at all. Something as simple as opening doors, or even a big smile to others would help. Just make sure you study the situation carefully, and be helpful when possible. A little nice effort could go a long way in some cases.

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