Introspection

Everyone has both the introvert and extrovert sides. When I am in my introvert mode, I like to think, to dream, or to let my mind drifting from idea to idea in a flow. When I was younger, I did that a lot, perhaps it was because I had more than ample of time being by myself. Besides regular day to day contact with people, I spent quite a bit of time enjoying hobbies that I could do alone at my own pace anytime I chose. Other than those thinking, dreaming and mind-drifting, one thing that I did quite often was introspection. I think that is a key to the mental growth of a person.

Introspection is to go over in my mind what I'd done and said in a period of time. Of course, we won't remember everything, but it is useful to examine the highlights of things that I did and said, in order to identify any mistake. The goal is simple, try not to do that again. One thing that I hate the most is to regret. Introspection is being used to prevent regret to happen. However, I think that I've done my introspection myself since I got married. Ha, some readers of this blog will think that it means that I may find out I would regret to be married! Nah...I don't think so!

It is because I've not been managed my time well since I got married, especially now when I became a dad. I really struggle with my personal time management. I already did less than what I wanna do, because I'm not myself anymore, I'm the husband of a woman and a dad of a kid. They are my priorities, and they are linked together most of the time. So, I just don't have much time to sitback, relax, and do some introspection myself. I used to do that before I slept, or during shower. I didn't why I just haven't done that much in the past 2 years or so. Well, don't get me wrong that I do sleep and take shower.

This morning before breakfast, I suddenly started to introspect for 2 minutes while I was in the shower. The feeling was so good that I think it kinda help me to kick start of today. Maybe because I just having done that for too long. I suddenly urge to do that again. In my personal history, I usually did introspection when I was sad, confused, helpless, or gonna make some major decisions. I didn't do that often out of the blue. So, that's why this morning's experience is kinda weird. My introspection mode kicked in automatically. I think that maybe my subconsciousness was trying to warn me to change what I've been doing. I think I need to introspect again tonight. I'm sure some thoughts or motivation will come out as a result. I'm looking forward to that.....is that weird that it sounds like I need to make a self-appointment to think?