Friday, September 10, 2010

My son's personality

Time just flies. My son is about to turn three and his expression of personality has becoming obvious in recent months. Based on my observation so far, these are the characteristics of my son that I have seen so far:
- Weak in physical
- Picky in foods. Love veggie and some fruits, soups, not keen on meat much.
- Love readings in general.
- Picky in TV programs, even on Disney Channel, he would pick Mickey Mouse, Tigger and Pooh, but not Handy Mandy. He would request TV to be turned off.
- Picky in expressing politeness.
- Have learned to talk back.
- Above average in tolerance of pain.
- Not very obedient.
- Think out of the box, e.g. would create third choice when only two are offered.
- Do make his own choices, e.g. pick other clothes rather than put on what were chosen
- Not a good painter, prefer music more.
- Good memorization ability
- A bit of stubborn
- Not selfish, don’t mind to share
- Do express who he likes or dislikes (non-family members)
- Have not yet afraid of dark or being left alone
- Need the feeling of security, e.g. in elevator, swimming pool
- Do tell lies, but he would admit he lied if being asked
- Like tech gadgets, and press buttons in general
- Have high potential to be short-sighted
- Need encouragement in trying things, more accepted if action is being demonstrated.
- Have potential to instruct others to do things for him even though he knows how to do.
- Have potential to be a perfectionist. Like certain things to be neat and in order.
- Outspoken and not being shy in some occasions with strangers
- Like companionship
- Like to ask questions
- Like to go out, prefer library, bookstore, supermarket, Toy’s Rus.
- Like buses.

Of course, any of the above will change and some of them are actually changing from week to week. I just find it fascinating to see his development everyday. I would wish to mold him into certain ways down the road, but I don’t keep my hope high for that. Cuz, pushing too hard and aim that too high are due for disappointment.

I’m not sure if personality relates to when and where we borned (i.e. astrology) or karma from previous lives. However, simply based on what I’ve seen in my son, I do believe that we do born with a ‘framework’ of personalities. I would cite an analogy of that framework as if a ‘box of certain shape with particular design of compartments’. If the box is circular and is made with 8 equal compartments, you can’t just change it into a cube with 6 layers. What we can do as parents (or if we don’t do, it will happen anyway on his own) is to see what can be put and fit into those compartments. In other words, what kind of things my wife and I can expose him to, so he can pick up certain skills and become good at it. That’s why it would be a right approach to give him the opportunity to see and learn as many things as possible, but let him to select based on his own instinct and to develop on his own pace. If he just can’t do certain thing in spite of repeat attempts, don’t push it.

I think this development approach is necessary and critical as well as risky and expensive. As I said, this process is ongoing regardless we like it or not. We have the choice of showing him what we want and let him choose or leave him alone and let destiny does the trick. As a responsible parent, I would prefer the former. Cuz, I would be regret if he ends up making undesirable choices due to our negligence, but not with my best effort with good intention. The bottomline is that he is an individual after all, regardless how much we love him. He is my son that my wife and I love dearly but we don’t really ‘own’ him. He will make his own choices and bear corresponding consequences.

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