Thursday, January 13, 2011

The big Claw

I've not been feeling well in last week or so. I got a flu, am still recovering. My son got a fever + cold/flu + cough, my wife got a fever/flu as well. Anyway, a bunch of ill people at home. The weather lately has just been punishing cold! With my long absence in working out, I just feel weak.

There are tough challenges on my home front coming up starting mid next month or so. I just can see things will go down hill from there till mid-year, and then there will be another even bigger change....

Well, I always try to look up and see the good sides, but there are just things that out of my control. I know that nothing is perfect. I don't like to complain myself, but it doesn't mean that I don't need to deal with complaints from others. I just hope people would be more understanding and show a higher tolerence of inconvenience. I will try to do my best, but my best doesn't equal perfect. People still like to pick out the faults and drill on them. They will still got upset and complain for whatever reasons, maybe out of emotion or simply cause of unknown.

Additional to the self-inflicted but justified pressure from the work side, today, I just feel burn out psychologically. I feel like Woody in Toy Story 3 when he was about to be cremated on the track to the hell hole in the dumpster, he tried struggling his way up but failed. The difference is that Wordy has his pals with him, but I'm alone...In the movie, Woody and his friends were rescued by the 'big claw'. I wish I can see a 'big claw' in my world but it is just nowhere to be seen...

We live in a society that full of people, we encounter them at different times of our lives. Some of them will be with us along the way for a long period of time. But, we are ultimately all individuals with our own thoughts. I don't feel lonely, just helpless and tired sometimes. Hopefully, things will turn out for the better. If not, rather than hopelessly waiting for help which will never come, I just need to try to split my alter-ego to drop a 'big claw' to rescue myself. At the end of the day, the only reliable person that can help me throughout my life is...myself!

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