Wednesday, October 24, 2007

EQ on problem solving

People do get frustrated in life from time to time. They may face real difficulties and don’t know how to handle them, or they get upset due to a series of hiccups from different aspects which could happen separately in sequence in short period of time or together at the same time. Or just they get upset for no particular reason.

Anyway, as every problem is different, so does their solutions. I’m not trying to tell anyone how to solve their problems. But, many people have to go through some emotional ups and downs before they can begin to work out the solution to their problems. I think that there are always some ways to deal with those negative emotions like frustration, anger, and sadness. Some people relies on drugs, religious practices, sports, music, foods, sleep, bathing, spa, reading, chatting with others, even shopping, or a combination of the above to deal with their emotions. I did try some of them before (certainly not drugs), sometimes they work, many times they don’t. But I’ve a method that work for me quite often -

My method is to take a walk on my own and talk to myself. Namely, I will take a walk slowly, anytime of the day is fine, better to be in an open area where I can see the nature, like by the seaside, or in rural area where there are trees. Walking in shopping mall or on busy street is certainly not recommended. I find it better to be alone so I don't need to deal with others. Also, I prefer that place to be as less crowded as possible. So, it won’t be so weird when people see me talking to myself. Certainly, it is better nowadays because others will think that you must be talking to your hand-free. Anyway, I talk to myself as if I have split personalities. On the one hand, the ‘wounded’ me would tell my other self what the problems are, how much they hurts and how upset I am. On the other hand, my other self will play the therapist and comfort my wounded self. Telling him not to worry, everything will be ok, trying to look at the silver-lining of things, there will be light in the tunnel, reminding myself some past experience that the worst that I had thought didn’t materialize, there are always alternatives, people will understand, and just take things one step at a time....Also, the stronger self will telling my wounded self to pick up myself, there are always someone worst than me, remind myself about them who I read in the news or books in the past, telling myself there is a supreme being in the universe that will look after things, there is Karma, and God is fair, but God has not responsibility to tell everybody how fair HE is or sometimes we are just not intelligent enough to understand how fair HE is….etc.

Usually, after an hour, I would feel much better and regain a calmed mind. Then, I will get a cold drink or take a shower, I would be ready to sit down to start to map out the practical solutions to my problems. Don’t know if it will work for anyone, but for me, it works.

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