iPhone at 4

Well, iPhone is 4 years old today. Happy Birthday!

Being an owner of an 3GS and husband of a 3G owner, I can’t help thanking how much iPhone has improved my livelihood in the past 2 years or so. Remember few years back, I was already wishing to be a smartphone owner, cuz I want a phone to serve me more than just communication. At that time, the closest product was the smartphone from a company that no longer exists – Dodpot. I was happy with the overall functions that it was able to provide back then. However, it was still lacking in the music department given how much I enjoy my iPod Classic back then. Also, the form factor of the Dodpot phone was too bulky to be carried around. I wouldn’t want to carry a ‘soap’ in my pocket. Furthermore, the price of that phone was staggering. I didn’t end up purchasing that phone and then….iPhone came along.

I remember watching the keynote from Steve Jobs in 2007 and my jaw was dropping when I see the size and the capabilities of iPhone. The multi-touch was simply astonishing! After seeing that, there was no doubt what my next would be and I didn’t care what else was gonna be released. Because of the carrier contract issue, I bought the 3G for my wife before I got my hand on 3GS. Well, I just can’t put the damn thing down since I bought them. The App Store was the key and it just kept the whole user experience refreshing everyday. To be honest, I’ve not fully utilize most of the capabilities of the phone. However, what I’ve been using regularly so far are enough to keep my busy and happy: podcast, music, camera, web-browsing, phone, games, notes taking, etc. Just can’t wait to see what iPhone 5 is gonna bring and it’s about time for me and my wife to upgrade.

P.S. Sorry Android, though I’ve been tempted to find out more from you, I just haven’t got a kick to switch camp yet.

My thoughts on iPhone 5 and more

Until iPhone 5 is released by Apple, rumors will continue to fly. I’m not gonna go into details of what I think what iPhone 5 is gonna be different from iPhone 4, cuz there are numerous articles in sites that cover that topic. Instead, I wanna share my thought on the release schedule of iPhone 5 and how that fit into those of the rest of Apple products.

The previous versions of iPhones were released in June, however iPhone 5 has not followed that tradition. Basically, I think that the following factors are probably playing roles in that decision.

1. Antennagate of iPhone 4 – that caused some new design of the form factor of iPhone 5.

2. Delay of release of white iPhone 4 – same as above, both of which are something that I don’t think Steve Jobs would tolerate recurrence in iPhone 5 as long as he is still in charge of Apple.

3. Japan Earthquake in March – that might caused some constraints in the production of part supplies though Apple has lucrative contracts with her suppliers.

4. Verizon’s iPhone 4 – it definitely means iPhone 5 would need to handle both CDMA and GSM, on top of other internal upgrades.

5. Android Phones releases – Apple has been a leader and don’t want to be a follower of competitors’ products. Hence, it can’t just ignore what’s going on in the market, namely the rapid release of Android phones from various companies. As such, they need to be at least on par with if not leap over most Android phones in terms of functions.

As such, rather than the previous rumor of iPhone 5 would be an iPhone 4S, an incremental upgrade, most likely Apple is taking its time to do above that to maintain its lead over Android phones. Given that, I’m not surprise Apple is planning to release iPhone 5 later.

However, I’ve another thought which I’ve not come across in the media about the release schedule of iPhone 5. i.e. Apple is actually reshuffling the release schedule of all its products in view of the change of its product lines. I think that Apple, in this year or two, is going to consolidate its product release schedules into 3 annual events:

Q1 for Macs (iMac, MacBooks and peripherals)
Q2 for Software (WDCC)
Q3 for iOS products (iPods, iPhone and iPad?)

Q1 release is no brainer, it is already in process. Q2 for software has just been done with OSX, iOS5, and iCloud. Q3 release has long been music event for iPods which took place in Septembers. As iPod’s significance in Apple has been diminishing over the past few years, I don’t think it makes any sense to keep that as music only event anymore. To be honest, iPod Shuffle, iPod Nano, iPod Classic are fiddles. iPod Touch is the core product in the iPod line. However, what is the difference between iPod Touch and iPhone? Not much, except the calling part. Thus, it is kinda meaningless to hold an event to tell the world how iPod Touch is gonna catch up with the features and form factors of iPhone released few months earlier. Thus, I would be surprise iPhone will be the main course in near future and iPods upgrades will be side dishes instead.

Well, what about iPad? iPad has long been released in Apr with an special event. Since iPad is a product between Macs and iPhone, so function wise it make sense either being grouped in Macs or iPhone releases, particularly the latter given it is running iOS. However, with iPhone and iPods to be covered, if iPad is included as well, the event would be too long and too much info for people to digest. So, it also make some sense to be grouped under the Mac event as it is taking place in Q1 which is closer to Apr than Q3.

Anyway, I’ve no insider news and won’t know whether I’m right till Apple makes the moves. I guess the release of iPhone 5 and iPad 3 should give a pretty good idea to verify my thoughts.

'Dad' again

I'm happy to announce that I'm the father again to a new born baby boy. This little cute angel joined our family last week. That's why I've not updated my blog since then. As there's so much to do for the new born. i.e. all the diaper-changing, bottle-feeding, etc. Just exhausting. I do hire a helper during the day time to assist us during our paternal and maternal leaves. However, still, I'm the one that wake up every few hours to feed my boy. Sleep has become a luxury. Thank God that I'm an 'easy-sleeper' that take me no time to snore, unlike my poor wife who is a 'awakener' that can't sleep easily but wake up in a snap with a bit of noise. Though I've experience of being a hands-on dad for my older son, every baby is just different. So far, my boy doesn't neg for hugging and all that. But, the bad thing is that he doesn't suck much! So the feeding part is torturing, it just takes too exhausting to huddle him to suck bottle. I hope things will turn around soon. Otherwise, I don't know how can that be managed when I get back to work in about 2 weeks. I just wanna pray.....

Life Questions

How to be a better father?
How to be a better husband?
How to be a better son and grandson?
How to be a better brother?
How to be a better employee?
How to be a better teammate?
How to be a better friend?
How to be a better citizen to the society?
How to be a better me?

I think I’m intelligent enough to figure out the answer of the individual questions above. Most of the answers are not really about money, not that I’ve plenty. The problem is carrying out the answers in reality effectively and efficiently. Namely, how to achieve an optimal balance in resource (time, attention, planning and action) allocation and expected results? Some people may think that I would have more control of the former, but actually, that all depends on the latter. I’m not just talking about the results that I expect myself, but more about what OTHERS expect from me!

No book would be able to teach me how to do all that. Cuz, it is ultimately written by ME, it is the book of my life! It is tough, but as long as life goes on, I just gotta suck it up and do it.

A vivid dream on May 19

I’ve not have a memorable dream for a while. That’s why I was so surprise with what I can remember from what I dream last night. These are the sequential (somewhat incoherent) bits and pieces that I can still recall:

1. Discussion with my current boss about his assignment of sending me to Taiwan for an unknown period to manage a team of 12. I was unwilling to go due to family reason.

2. I was in a hotel in Taiwan. I was in a hotel lobby, can’t remember the details, but I was looking at a black and white carbon copy of floor map. I was told my room number is 812.

3. I was in the hotel room, it was kinda big, but it was dark outside. I prayed and bowed in all four directions to tell ‘the spirits’ that I was seeking for a peaceful co-existence with them for 2 nights. Please don’t bother me.

4. I went into the bathroom, somehow it become a large cave with hot spring inside. It was dark but I still can see there were people there. Many kids and two young hot Chinese girls were walking up the rocks towards me in blue and yellow towels. I then turned back to my room and somehow went to the reception to complain how come there were so many people (about 18) in my room.

5. Then, I was on a roof of a long rectangular building. Somewhat like a dock of a battleship. It was supposed to be the roof of a hotel. Exact place is unknown.

6. I was talking face to face of two of my ex-ex-ex colleagues (HT and RL). Then, man I saw crafts in the air. Very big craft maneuvered in the blue sky with some white clouds. They are Gundams! Also, other very strange and weird aircraft as well! One of them is a large white cylinder with a black star on it and a long red arm that can bend. I was screaming and looking for a camera to film them. HT was filming them by his iPhone. I was so excited and thought those aircraft must be going to an air show or something.

Well, that’s it!

Personal Growth

Recently, I have done a little bit of self-reflection of the current stage of my life. It is by no mean thorough or serious, but I do have a feeling about personal growth that I wanna blog here.

Personal growth that I mean here is more about growth/enhancement/improvement of my mind/spirit/intelligence. With such growth, naturally, I should feel better today than yesterday. I should perform better today than yesterday. As a result, things will turn out better which may lead to financial gain or spiritual satisfaction.

Usually, the mean to achieve such growth is through learning, supported by appropriate amount of exercise, healthy diet, sleep and entertainment. Also, a stable environment would help as well, namely, a steady income, decent health, and okay relationship with people who have first person contact frequently including family members, co-workers, peers, etc.

The learning that I mean here is basically picking up new knowledge, skills, and thoughts that can be applicable in real life. That can be obtained by taking courses, reading self-help books, etc. The point is that it must be something specific.

I feel like I’ve not grown much in recent times. I think it has a lot to do for being a responsible family man. I’m NOT here to blame on my wife and my kid. I enjoy very much for being a married man and a dad. The joy and satisfaction that they have been giving me is just irreplaceable. However, every take comes with give. I’m not trying to get maximum of everything which is impossible. Instead, I think I need to figure out a way to ‘optimize’ my resource to get a more satisfactory balance of both. Having said this much so far, you can tell that I’m not happy with my personal growth side so far.

The resource that I’m talking about here is not too much about money, not that I’ve lots of it. Rather, it is about time management. I did blog about Time repeatedly before. I’ve never tired of this topic. Cuz, as older we are, at least I am, the more acute sense of time that I have. Perhaps, it has something to do with the fact that we have a longer history that we can do self-reflection on. When we are 20 years old, what we saw at the time comparing to what we had been at 18, not that big of a difference would be noticed. Also, a 20 years old would see a lot of unknown in his life down the long road in future. There was just so much to look forward to. We had time to ‘kill’. We were enjoying our youth. For an older person, got married and became a dad. Things are looked to be more stable. Roles and responsibilities are more defined. Basically, you can pessimistically say that we are ‘stuck’ to be this and that. Regardless, simply referencing our parents, we can pretty much tell what our life should be going forward.

It is by no mean pessimistic or easy. Once we are married, we can tell our life path will deviate from those spirit-free bachelors. Once we became parent, our life path will further deviate from those leissez-fare couples without kid. We made life-decisions and just live with the consequences of them. The joy and pain of bachelors and childless couples have nothing to do with us. Personally, I would not miss the joy and feel fortune of not having the pain of those people. Cuz, I made my choices. The issue here is that how to deal with the joy and pain of being married and a parent. The joyful part is easy, just takes it as it comes, I think it is no brainer. The hard part is to manage the pain. I know the ‘half-glass’ full theory, it is an easy but quick pain reliever. That actually is too passive to fool myself for long term. What I need is something more concrete and tangible. I’m not looking for a timetable, but at least a strategy of time-management that could re-trigger my personal growth. I think that I have reached a point that I’m kinda desperate to have one.

I don’t believe that I’ve to shortchange the joy that I gain from being a husband and a dad. For now, I just think that I need to manage my overall time more ‘efficiently’. I guess I just need to reshuffle my priorities and set up tangible and reachable goals. I’m not too worry about motivation part, cuz I know myself enough that if I’ve a better plan and got excited enough of the goals, my motivation engine will auto-start itself. I guess, I just need to squeeze an hour or so to be by myself undisturbed, to think, to scrabble on my iPhone, and think again….let’s see what I can come up with….man just thinking and blogging it simultaneously really help!

My latest thoughts on NBA 2011

My favorite team Boston Celtics was out by Miami Heat. I was not surprised by the result, given that Rondo was playing with one arm and Shaq was too old to recover. The bench couldn’t perform at expected level. So, here it goes for the season. Well, Doc is gonna be back for 5 more years. It is kinda interesting that he wanted so much to go back to Orlando to be with his kids in college, to see them play sports, etc a year ago. Now, he would coach 5 more years and don’t miss his kids’ games no more! I guess money talks. Anyway, it would be interesting to see what Danny Ainge will do in the unknown off-season given the possible lock out. Anyway, I will just stay tune.

Fortunately, my second favorite team Chicago Bulls is cruising along, beat Miami Heat in the first game of Eastern final. I guess the Bulls will win. I just don’t want Heat to be in the Final. Yes, the new Big Three will win championship soon or later, but I prefer the latter. Also, I doubt they can win 6-8 rings as they wished. Cuz, the Bulls is for real and I think Bulls will be the most dominant team in the next 5 years at least, provided they don’t suffer heavy injury. Bulls is playing as a team, yes DR is dominant, but he is also a guy that bring the team together. So, they will be tough to bit as Tom Thibs’s air-tight defensive schemes just suffocate most individualistic players. I love teams play as a team. So, go Bulls all the way this year and they deserve the ring!

Dallas will win the West, though I like Thunder, particularly after reading news story about Kevin Durant. What a humble kid he is! Similar to DR, I think they are much better young players as role models than those flashy LBJ, Carmelo Anthony, etc. However, I still like Bulls better. Thunder would be a great team rising in the West.

Spurs, similar to the Cs, is just too old as a team. It’s time to rebuild. Lakers is interesting, they are not as old as people think, but I just can’t see they will be better next year. With the Phil Jackson’s Zen management, those wild characters just can’t be contained. I don’t see them doing any better next year than this year. Will Phil retire? Maybe, more interesting would be…will the famous triangular defense retires with him? I know Rex Winter (if I remember the name right) is the real master of Triangular defense, but I don’t know if there’s gonna be any successor to that….hmmm…..

My view on cigarette

Over the past weekend, due to some personal matters, I’d to be on the street to do quite a bit of walking back and forth in my neighborhood. What got my attention was the more than I expected number of smokers that I encountered on the street. Besides old dudes, there were quite a number of young men and women smoking on the street, particularly when they were waiting for public transportation. I wouldn’t jump into the conclusion that the government effort in persuasion in quitting has failed. But, is smoking really that enjoyable to quit?

Personally, my dad is a life-long smoker. That’s something that nobody in my family is able to make him stop. We thus kinda turn our face on this fact. Fortunately, my dad is also considerate enough for not smoking when he is with us. However, smell of post-smoked bathroom and his smoky breath always reminded us how much we dislike smoking.

I’d only smoked twice in my life. The first time was during my teenage year out of curiosity. I stole a cigarette from my dad, I forgot that’s Winston or Marlboro, I inhaled that once and got choked so badly that I had to drink a can of Coke to dilute the taste in my mouth. At that time, I couldn’t understand why my dad would like such thing. The second time that I smoked was during my mid-twenties. I was with a girl that I liked who smoke every now and then. I was with her when she was pouring her heart with emotions in a late evening chat. I forgot what the topic was, but we were outdoor in a park on the roadside or something. It was kinda chill and she offered a cigarette to me. Perhaps it was the mood and all that, I inhaled again. It was a light cigarette. Different from the one that I took from my dad, this one had no taste at all. I didn’t feel anything. No choking, no nothing! However, that didn’t make me becoming a smoker, cuz at the end of the day; I still couldn’t find smoking appealing even one bit.

Since then, I’ve never picked up a cigarette in my life. I just don’t find it worth doing it. It costs money, hurts our health, and I do find second hand smoke extremely annoying, particularly after being a dad. I had to make extra effort to stay away from the smoke when I’m with my kid.

I wouldn’t challenge some smokers’ claim of finding Nicotine relaxing and addictive. I think the reaction to Nicotine is perhaps different from one to another, maybe it has something to do with our gene. Anyway, I respect people’s right to smoke, but please don’t affect the non-smokers. That’s basically in line with my thought on other hardcore drugs as well. It shouldn’t be a legal issue, but rather a medical and social issue. Namely, you should have the right to smoke, period. However, if your smoking behavior affects other people, you deserve to be disliked and repulsed. Though Nicotine is addictive, it affects our health; cigarette is not and should never be an illegal product. Addicts should be assisted to quit, they deserves the attention of the medical community, not the law-enforcement one.

Geronimo E-KIA

Osama Bin Laden (OBL), the so-called most wanted man in the world in the last decade or so, was killed with 2 bullets few days ago in Pakistan. With the circumstance of this incident, there are so much to talk about and it is definitely one of the top stories of the year.

It is very logical and believable that OBL was protected by Pakistan military in the last few years simply given the location of his resident ‘palace’ which is in close proximity to Pakistan’s military establishment. Some people are questioning if this will affect U.S.- Pakistan relationship from now on. I would say no to that and will explain that later.

OBL was killed, not captured. Based on the news, he was kinda identified and killed in an instant. Regardless whether he was armed or not, with other bystanders on site or not, he was targeted to be killed. That’s not an instant decision, but a planned one beforehand. I think the whole attack has been long designed and choreographed, most decisions were made with in-depth analysis on the pros and cons of different alternatives. Cuz, this action is a big deal to the Obama administration, at least in public. That has designed impact on the national sentiment, upcoming re-election campaign, etc. Things must be planned. Agreed with some news analysts’ view that capturing instead of killing OBL would cause so much unwanted consequence to the U.S. government. Like where to cage him, going through the legal process, publicity, his supporters/sympathizers’reactions, etc. That’s just not worthy! Though there is news saying that the United Nation is questioning the legitimacy of U.S.’s unilateral action of going in a sovereign state to take a military action of killing, I just think that’s laughable. It is not the first time the U.S. is doing that (remember Noriega?) the world is ruled by hegemony - the one who has a bigger fist!

About OBL’s sea burial, I think that’s a quite interesting decision. I agree that you don’t wanna let his dead body lying around for long. Cuz, a dead OBL is already a martyr to some people, you don’t wanna give them something physical to be drawn to. Where would he be buried as an alternative? The logical place will be in Saudi Arabia, given that he is a Saudi Sunni. However, would the Saudi Royal family wants such nuisance in its Kingdom when there are already unstable atmosphere among its citizens which are only temporary shut up with cash? I don’t think U.S. would want OBL’s dead body in a morgue in its mainland or any overseas military base for long. Cuz, that would be viewed as trophy by some Arabs, I guess. So, the only other viable alternative would be cremating his dead body and spread his ashes in the wind. However, I found the current decision interesting because it means that his dead body was taken up by the U.S. helicopter and was then taken on a long route to Arabian Sea for disposal. Why it was taken that far? Would the sea off Pakistan be closer?

Some would say that revenge for his death will be imminent. Reportedly, a dirty bomb is already in Europe and it will go off any time. Well, I think that’s silly. If Al Qaeda has a dirty bomb indeed, it would have gone off long ago. I wouldn’t doubt that some terrorists love to have some kinds of WMD, but I don’t think they can gather all necessary means to get it deliver to their desired target. It is just not easy. Think about it, it involves so much, including gathering materials, experts, machinery to compose it, a safe hidden site to house the whole production, the means to deliver the bombs, etc. When you think about how much it took to test weapons by sovereign states, you can imagine the daunting tasks by the terrorist organizations to do the same in hidden state. Well, some might say how about 9/11? Well, I don’t trust the official story 100%, neither some of the conspiracy theories. I just have doubts of the whole 9/11 incident, but that’s a whole another story…

I would say that terrorist attacks with a flag of revenge being raised will happen, but scale and impact of them would be far and between. I don’t know what OBL’s DVDs, portal storage devices and PCs contain. But, just the news that they are now in the hands of the U.S. government, would be enough to put all OBL related terrorist groups’ plans derail. They would need to go back to drawing board (if they have one) again to figure out what to do next. Thus, I would say that revenge in the name of OBL’s death would actually be less than it is expected.

Navy Seal has become a spotlight in this incident. I was more interested in the information about the Seal than other stuff. Like there are reportedly 2000 or so Seals are currently on active duty. 10% of them are the elites that belong to team 6. The kinds of training they went through, the background of those people, and different aspects in their execution past and present are just fascinating. I just wonder how their counterparts in Russia, China, etc would view this incident and what the corresponding stories of them would be.

Regarding “OBL, enemy killed in action”, aka “Geronimo EKIA”, using Geronimo as a code name for OBL has upset Native American. I think it is more a sidetrack story. They have all the right to be upset, but they are just not powerful enough to challenge the dominant Anglo-Saxon power. So, it would most likely be just a ‘beep’ in the sea of sound. Certainly, if the Seal commander said something like ‘Serpent EKIA’, that would be no story at all.

OBL’s death was celebrated in the States and was considered as a closure for the victims’ families as well as to the 9/11 incident itself. I would say that everyone has his/her right of expression as a reaction to this news and form his/her own judgment. However, I would say that OBL’s death is not that significant when we look at it from a point of view in terms of the geographical international political chessboard.

As mentioned before, Pakistan is just chess in the eyes of the Eagle. As long as it is valuable, U.S.-Pakistan relationship is expected to experience the upcoming down and the up again down the road. U.S. foreign policy has been using the ‘Carrot and Stick’ approach since God knows when. Pakistan is not Iran, it is not a threat to Israel. Pakistan is friend of China, an enemy of India. So, it is an important piece in South Asia geopolitics. U.S. aims to contain China, so any country next to China is valuable to the U.S. That’s it.

My view of terrorism has been around in the history for so long, being usually deployed as a desperate measure by the weak as a way to against those in power. It will continue and I don’t think the death of OBL would make a difference. Some polls have already shown that many regular folks do not find that our world will be any safer with his death. I just think that as the powerful groups are still exploiting the weak, terrorism will continue.

My View on…pursuing a relationship in teenage years

It has been a long time since I last blogged with topic of ‘My View on…’ which is a way that I wanna share my view on a certain topic that perhaps my son will read it someday…

My son is still a toddler; he is cute and adorable at this age. Soon, he will grow, learn and mature. That’s a natural development for a young boy. I think I’m a quite liberal parent and would not intervene too much on his love life. So far, I think my son has about average intelligence. So, I think I would just tell him something that a normal person can understand, I won’t dumb him down or making ‘Zen’ like statements that he has to ‘guess’ what I wanna say. I think I would respect his privacy and intelligence. If he wanna fall in love during his teenage years, I don’t think I can stop him from doing that. Cuz, he has his own mind and ultimately walks his own path.

Instead, I think I would like to lay out the pros and cons of having a girlfriend as well as the roles and responsibility of being a boyfriend for his reference. Yes, time changes and so does social culture. It is like a swinging pendulum, in future, people can be more open/conservative than we are. Technology advancement is a double-edged sword that affects relationship. Interpersonal relationship and privacy in the pre-mobile phone/facebook days are just not the same. Nevertheless, there are still values, protocols, and things about relationship that are not gonna change much (at least I guess) when my son is old enough to have desire in starting a relationship.

In terms of having a girlfriend during his teenage years, I would tell him something like these:
Life is full of choices, and you need to make decisions at some points. The earlier you spend time to analyze what’s good for you, the better. Otherwise, if you just procrastinate your decision, you may lose the best opportunity to make good decision. On the contrary, you may be rushed to make subpar decision, or simply have the decision made by someone else for you. So, it is better to think EARLY.

We all have 24 hours a day. There are responsibilities that have to be fulfilled. So, free time is limited. In terms of optional activities, you can only do ‘some’ but not ‘all’. Therefore, you need to make decision wisely. Being in school, learn as much as you can, be a decent student is something your parents would like you to do at your age. Yes, there are exceptions in the world that some people at your age are selecting different paths and some of them end up doing really remarkable. However, many of them failed as well. Staying in school, be a good student, doesn’t guarantee success down the road. However, it is a relatively ‘easy’ and ‘straightforward’ path for ‘most’ young people of your age. Unfortunately, to be a successful person by going ‘alternative’ paths would take double if not more effort in this society under the current social structure. So, when I say ‘effort’ here, that certainly includes ‘Time’. So, going back to what I said before, there is only so much time you have in day for you to allocate, so there is only so much you can do.

In terms of time allocation, there are generally two strategies. One is to do few things, but go deep into those things. For instance, you can be a very good student at school, and a very good pianist by intensive practice. The other is to do a lot of things, but don’t (because you can’t) go deep into most of them. Namely, you are a below average student, spending time playing soccer, going movies, playing video games, go window shopping, taking pictures, reading comic books, novels, etc. Certainly, there can be combinations of both, like being a good student, and have few hobbies but not being good in any of those. These are decisions that you can make. Pursuing a love relationship is different, it is an activity that would heavily depends on another person that you will NOT be able to make all decisions or arrangement that you want the most.

Having a dream girl as your girlfriend can be tempting and enjoyable. It is one activity that you can’t be in control of most situations. You will be happy when things are working out or favorable if your desire comes true. But, believe me; she has her own mind and desire as well. She has no responsibility or whatsoever to obey you or listen to you. When that happen, i.e. conflict of interest, you will feel sad. Relationship development takes a lot of time and effort. I’m not even talking about money which will be an issue for you. You will have some pocket money to spend, but believe me, it is limited! Learning how to allocate your limited resource is critical in your life development. Unfortunately, resource here is not just about money, it includes time and energy as well. Just say, you need to really think about what is best for you.

You need companionship. Yes, your parents love you, but you do need friends. Learning how to get along with other people is important. Certainly, you need to select who you should spend time with. I’m not saying that you should only pick friends with hidden purpose in mind, and put off others who are without value even if they are nice to you. Nevertheless, it would be very natural that you will bond with someone who can share your interests and thoughts, and will not be close to someone who has nothing in common with you. Regardless, there are protocols, customs and responsibilities to be a good friend of others. However, that set of protocols, customs and responsibilities for being a boyfriend can be very different.

Regarding friendship, there are gives and takes, for the most part, it would be more or less 50-50 overall. For a love relationship, 50-50 would NEVER happen. I think you can imagine what the ‘gives’ are in setting up a love relationship. But, remember, it is not just the setup part; there is also the maintenance part that is by no mean easy at all.

Well, here we go the ‘takes’ in a love relationship. If you simply want to have a companion in activities and to share thoughts, friends or good friends would be enough. There must be different goals for pursuing a girlfriend.

On the emotion side, you want to love and be loved. That’s something good and admirable. On the physical side, having close body contact to certain extent is definitely the dream of most boys. I don’t think I would need to go deep in this topic. However, just remember few things. (i) If you love someone, respect her, even if her decision doesn’t match your desire. (ii) Sex is natural, but it has its natural function. The reason why sex can be enjoyable is because the natural result can be painful. There are consequences to unprotected sex – pregnancy, diseases, etc. You may think you are lucky this time, but DON’T count on it. The downside would be very very severe. Cuz, you are lucky once, doesn’t make you lucky next time or thereafter. Also, don’t forget there are additional ups and downs in emotion that are sex-related in a relationship as well. For example, how to convince your girlfriend to have physical relationship with you, to what degree? the location? the timing? the precaution? How to keep a secret from others, like her parents, your mom, perhaps me? How do you know if she would not exploit sex as a leverage to get something from you? How to deal with the confusion afterwards? Believe me, things will turn out not what you have imagined beforehand. Should there be next time? What is the goal of your relationship? If you put having sex as the goal of the relationship which is wrong, then what’s next? If your answers to most of the questions above is ‘I don’t know!’ or you have never thought about any of these, then you perhaps are NOT ‘ready’ to go far in that direction, continue to hold hands then.

Diving in a love relationship is actually very complicated. Yes, things can be learned and one of the best ways to learn is to experience it. But, it is always advisable to learn something when you are ready. It is like jumping off a plane alone. You need to have a trained body, thorough knowledge of the parachute and jumping technique, where to jump, how high to jump, how high to pull the string to open the parachute, how to land, how to take off the parachute. You need to check your gear beforehand, any broken strings or holes? Have a knife with you? Goggles fits? Functional Walkie talkie? GPS? Etc. Maybe my analogy is bit too much, but I hope you see my point.

Well, I hope what I said wouldn’t be too overwhelming, but that’s my view, hope my son would be able to understand, and it would be up to him to make the best decision he can.